A Sibling’s Perspective- part 2
Part 2: Patience
Things that take an able-bodied person 10 minutes to do could take an SCI (a person with a spinal cord injury) two hours. And that’s if they’re really going at it! I often lost what little patience I had to begin with because my time table was disrupted. I had to wait 10 painstaking minutes for my sister to put on her socks and shoes. First one finger in the sock then two fingers then a toe then inch by inch, tug by tug, the sock finally made it up to the arch of her foot. I fought the urge to just do it for her so we could hurry up and get to school already. Every time I would get her out of the car, I had to wait for her to adjust her body and regain her balance before we could get going. I could go on and on citing situations where I lost my temper just because I didn’t pack an extra supply of patience.
Being an able-bodied person who has to adjust their lifestyle to accommodate a family member with an SCI can be irritating and downright maddening sometimes. Unlike our wheelchair-bound family members who have no choice but to develop patience, it takes a conscious effort on our part to breathe and relax. I don’t have any protocol for how to develop patience (does it even exist?!) but I do have a few thoughts that have helped re-fill my patience tank.
1) It costs you more time to rush and make mistakes. And it’s not worth the injuries.
2) Nothing we have to do is so earth-shatteringly important that it has to be done right this very second. Even “very important” things can wait.
3) Patience is a universal virtue. Once developed, you can use it anywhere and in any situation.
Amanda Haddad is a graduate student from the University of Southern California, studying geochemistry and microbiology. She was a passenger in a car accident 10 years ago when the car she was riding in rolled over in the Arizona desert. Her sister, the owner of the For Caregivers blog, sustained a spinal cord and traumatic brain injury and their journey as siblings recovering from trauma is one that many families can relate to.
Posted on March 14, 2012, in Support and tagged car accident, caregiving, family caregiver, family caregiving, Health, Patience, Siblings, Spinal Cord Injury, Traumatic Brain Injury, University of Southern California. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.